Women’s History Month is important to me for a couple reasons. One, I graduated from Rutgers University as a history major. Learning about the past and how it impacts our present has always been fascinating to me. Two, I am a woman, and three, as a woman who studied history, I have always noticed that our history is dominated by stories of men, written by men. If we want an inclusive present, we must study and expose all genders written by all genders.
As such, this month, I would like to honor some women who have inspired me. This week, I would like to honor badass Abigail Adams.
Known most famously for her “remember the ladies” letter she wrote to her husband John Adams as he participated in the First Continental Congress in Philadelphia (advice he also famously ignored), Adams is so much more, especially given her time.
Raised in a prominent family in Massachusetts, while she had no formal education, Adams understood the importance of knowledge and made use of the family library. Not one to stay inside the house, she also accompanied her mother to tend to the poor and sick. In a time when girls were told to stay in the house, Adams went against the grain.
When she married John Adams, she didn’t sit back. She leaned in as much (and arguably more than) a woman could during her time. At a time when women weren’t allowed to own property, while John Adams traveled, she managed the farm and the family business, referring to their property as hers (because, let’s be honest, the girl was running the show … alone).
As her husband took on greater roles during the American Revolution, she always made sure her voice was heard. When John Adams was helping to write the Declaration of Independence, she knew this moment of history could be cataclysmic for equality of the genders, and while ultimately the men in power didn’t agree, she knew she was in a particular position of power where she had to put her views on the record. For the late 1700s, Abigail had immense lady balls.
She traveled with John in Europe for five years and they later became the First Family to occupy the White House when the capital moved from Philadelphia to Washington, D.C. When he was elected to office in 1797, Adams wrote to his wife, “I never wanted your advice and assistance more in my life.”
She then went on to be an outspoken First Lady, and I admire how she used her platform. At every turn, she spoke her mind to her husband. Considering the time, I believe this was no easy task and she must have had acute emotional intelligence to be able to say what she said.
She also maintained correspondence with Thomas Jefferson, who defeated her husband, as well as James and Dolley Madison. She understood that she needed to continue influencing those in power at all costs.
Abigail Adams’ life has spoken to me in a number of ways. I’ve always liked to go against the grain and do things that I “wasn’t supposed to do” or that “weren’t for women.” As a small girl, I liked to compete against the boys, trying to outrun them on the playground or outsmart them in classes. This was back in the 1980s and ‘90s when the narrative was that boys were faster and smarter than girls.
I imagine Abigail and her father had a closer relationship than most at the time, and that he saw past her gender. I have always felt that way about my own father, who made every opportunity available to his daughters in spite of our gender. When Take Your Daughter to Work Day became a thing (the predecessor of Take Your Child to Work), my dad was all over it. It was this experience that inspired me to have my own corner office. To lead my own company. He knew that girls could do anything they wanted, and he walked that walk every day of my life.
I have also not been one to shy away from sharing my opinion, although I must admit, it hasn’t always been easy. It still isn’t. I look at Abigail Adams with such admiration. What guts she had to have to express her thoughts about women and equal rights at that time. This was literally not long after women were being burned in New England – where she is from – for the same thing. And yet, she knew that as a woman of privilege, holding her position in society at that critical moment in history, it was essential that she try. I look to her when I know I have to speak my truth, even if it is not of popular opinion.
I celebrate you, Abigail Adams. A woman who understood her time, worked within cultural norms and expectations to push boundaries in hopes of a better future for women. She might have not gotten what she ultimately wanted, but she set the groundwork for those who followed her. Women like me.
