For stronger leadership, two is better than one
I started dancing when I was 10 years old. In the dancing world, that’s about seven years too late. But I didn’t care. I was obsessed! That first year, I started with ballet. The second year, I doubled it, taking both ballet and jazz. By my senior year of high school, I was dancing at four different studios every single day of the week. I was no stranger to the competition circuit, taking on the famed solo position, and when it was recital season, there was no other activity that was more important than preparing for the big performance.
When I was in college, I started dancing salsa, and once again, I was obsessed. With a dancing background like mine, you might assume it was an easy transition for me. And in many ways, it was. I could turn fast and I could pick up on new moves incredibly easily. But for the first time in my dancing career, I, the follower, was at the behest of my partner, the lead. Completely ready to perform on my own, I would often predict the move my partner wanted to make and do the steps independently rather than wait for his lead. This, in the partner dancing world, is a big no-no. Everything from finding my frame to give both space and stability to my partner to waiting for the slight of a hand or subtle cue was an incredibly challenging transition from solo dancing to partner. Now, I love it. There is such freedom in letting go and trusting your partner. But 20 years ago, I fought it, thinking I either knew better or that it was my responsibility to do it on my own.
Leadership
What does this have to do with the business world or leadership? Many times, leaders feel very alone. At the end of the day, CEOs are decision-makers, but we can’t see the whole picture all the time. That is why it is so important to have an outside partner who knows the dance as well as you do and can hold you accountable in a way that someone inside the organization simply cannot. To keep my leadership skills strong, I call in my accountability partners, who time and time again have helped save the day.
I’m grateful that I have many accountability partners. I have my friend who is a fellow entrepreneur, who will meet up with me on a Sunday and walk up and down the pier on South Beach tossing over different problems we’re both experiencing, offering each other motivation, advice, or even mindfulness techniques. I have my best friend who will look at a particular problem from all sides of that coin, pointing out hard truths that I couldn’t see myself. And I have my dad and CFO who toggles between his different roles in my life, stepping up to give me financial wisdom or the “atta girl” that only a dad can deliver.
Much like my dance partners, after I lay out the situation, I let my account ability partner lead. I trust that, much like a well executed dance, they want to create something beautiful with me and can show me something that I can’t see in the moment.
When identifying your accountability partner, I like to consider three points:
- Is this a person who can give you a balanced option? Your accountability partner should never just agree with you or blow smoke up your behind.
- Can I really listen to this person? You might get responses that you don’t agree with. Can you be open to their constructive criticism?
- Can this person continually hold you accountable? This person shouldn’t be someone you just meet once. This should be someone you can follow up with, but also someone who will follow up with you.
What I’ve had to do in leadership is recognize that I cannot and should not do it all or know it all. But it is up to me to learn, grow and move the needle. Leaders need to know what they don’t know, seek out the answers, and be open and receptive to contradictory beliefs or ideas in order to be able to come back into the office and lead their teams to achieve the best results. Of course, you must have wonderful internal team members, experts in their areas, but my point here is that leaders must also have sage external advice. I have found that carefully curating my accountability partners from outside my company has enabled me to steer the best course of action for the betterment of the internal group.
Who are your accountability partners? How are you qualifying them to offer prudent and trusted advice and keep you on course? Most importantly, are you able to allow them to lead — meaning taking your blinders off and opening your ears to constructive criticism — to enable those moments of clarity?
